In our current climate of social media addiction with fitness influencers and enthusiasts prancing around in itsy bitsy clothing, showing off hard earned bodies, it is becoming increasingly difficult to turn ourselves away from being bombarded with these types of images without shutting off from social media all together. A common exchange of dialogue with my husband these days goes something like this.
Husband: “Why is it every time I look at your phone you’re looking at someone’s bum?”
Me: “I just follow people I know, I can’t control what they want to put on their feed!”
For many people, men and woman alike, it is hard not to compare our bodies and our results with the hundreds or thousands we follow. What has developed from this, is an attitude shift towards helping people cope with their own feelings of self-worth.
In the past, weight on the scales was a measure of health. These days, we recognize that muscle weighs more than fat and the numbers on the scales don’t necessarily indicate health. Using BMI as a calculation of health is outdated and we can still fall in its range of overweight and still be very healthy.
Somewhere over the decades that have spanned multiple generations, men and women (women predominantly) have associated self-worth with the numbers on the scales and Personal Trainers like myself have begun equipping our clients with tools to help them stay on track and motivated without having to weigh themselves, as the scales could lead them down the path of disordered and obsessive behaviour and thoughts that are not healthy.
I give my clients the choice of whether to weigh themselves or not and I don’t encourage them into anything they don’t feel comfortable with. However, a discussion that developed on one of my Instagram posts recently, lead me to think about the pros and cons of weighing or not weighing (FYI: I do weigh myself regularly).
In the journey of feeling worthy, we all agree that the numbers on the scale do not determine our value. However, on this journey, have we also given thought to whether our desire not to weigh comes from our belief that we are healthy despite what the scale says or our denial (or perhaps recognition) , either, of our sedentary lifestyle or something deeper going on with our emotions.
Let me explain my personal weighing practice. I weigh myself regularly. I don’t do it every day, but I do it as and when it pops in my mind. So, why do I weigh myself you may ask? I do it because it is a metric of weight (and not self-worth). I practice intuitive eating but when I don’t prep my food, I end up snacking a lot. You all know I love my Nutella and my crisps. When I am prepared and eat lots of nutritious food, I snack less. When I don’t prepare, I eat snacks as my meals. Now, this is fine and I don’t feel guilt but weighing myself has helped me see how the scale steadily creeps up and up when all I do is snack. Now, you may say, I should allow myself to eat what my body wants. However, I know, I have not fed my body sufficiently with nutritious foods like proteins, carbs and veggies. If I didn’t weigh myself, I could probably go down a path of denial and make myself believe I’m eating well and intuitively but the reality is, I know I am not and the scales confirm I am not. So when I start eating proteins, veggies and rice for lunch, rather than granola and crisps, the scales show me a different story. But, that is just me. I don’t feel any less worthy or attractive with more weight on me and that is what we ultimately want to work towards.
So, I leave you with this to think about. In our pursuit of health and happiness, should we not be working towards a mindset that views the scales as a metric of weight rather than a measure of worth? If we continue to feel anxiety when asked to step on the scales (at the doctor’s for example), have we truly separated our bodies from our self-worth? Do we not want to come to terms with the idea that when we eat in a surplus our weight goes up, when we eat in maintenance our weight stays the same and when we eat in a deficit our weight goes down and that is all it means. It does not mean we are less attractive or less worthy. It just means our weight has gone up and down and we can keep an eye on it because if it continues to go up exponentially, it could indicate there may be a problem with our lifestyle, there may be a problem with our thyroids, there may be other health issues we may be on a path towards.
There is no wrong or right here but the path to health and happiness can only come when we reflect on our actions and make sure we are honest with ourselves.